Evil Christmas

So here we are, December 28th. Three days away from New Years Eve, the third and final nail in the COVID-19 coffin. It wasn't as though the spike caused by Thanksgiving was enough, NO! Millions of Americans willingly flew to be with their families for Christmas. "Evil Christmas" is what they will call it - No, wait: "COVID Christmas"! The Xmas to end all Xmases. From it will be born a spike on top of the Xgiving (that's my new name for Thanksgiving) spike, and atop that our Xyear's day spike will rise like The Tower of Babel, paused in a moment in time, just before it crumbles and kills uncounted tens, perhaps hundreds of thousands of innocent people. We are teetering on the brink, folks. Evil turkeys, deadly Santa, and finally a murderous New Year. It seems that the general public just couldn't care less avout it. 

I will have a front ring seat for this as it plays out, while working at an Urgent Care Center. I heard every story: "I was seated between two people who both tested positive at the Thanksgiving table! I'm 75, what can I do?!" "My grandchildren visited me on Christmas, and both just tested positive, and now I can't stop coughing!" "I'm going to visit my elderly parents, can I have one of those quick tests?"

Jesus Christ, save us. Buy your toilet paper now, people. There's going to be pandemonium by January 14th. What will I do? I'm planning to call out sick. Seriously. I'll put toilet paper up my nose and call in. Sounding stuffy, I'll say that I don't know if I have a cold, or COVID. Then I'll get tested, but have to stay out 10 more days if I test negative - or at least till I have no fever for a week. That will get me to January 21st, when Biden will be sworn in. Hopefully he'll swiftly call for all states to follow the CDC rules, my state will be forced to roll back, and my work T Urgent Care will return to March levels of patients, meaning we'll only test sick patients. 

What are your plans for "The Spike To End All Spikes"? I hope it's staying home, for all our sakes.